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There are countless things that fifth graders do that make me smile.  Sometimes it’s even part of a lesson!

Every now and then, as I’m scanning the classroom, I notice a few too many glazed-over eyes looking back at me.  It’s time to whip something special out of ol’ toolbox.

Raising the volume a little and probably jumping onto a chair or bookshelf, I exclaim in my best adventurous voice, “Now, reach deep into your pocket [as I act out that my pocket might be four miles deep] and pull out…your imaginary pencil!”  Suddenly heads snap off of elbows and grins appear on faces.  Without hesitation, they all reach deep for their own pencil.

“Now, on your giant imaginary paper in the sky [I'm near-yelling at this point], please write your answer to this question:  What type of figurative language is, ‘The light is as bright as the sun!’”  On cue, 23 kiddos start making giant letters in the air holding their imaginary pencils with perfect, yet imaginary, grip and precision.  Each letter is narrated in unison: “S-I-M-I-L-E.”  Next, comes the predictable student who exclaims, “Ah, mine broke!” and runs to the pencil sharpener.  Everyone gets in a good laugh.

Then we take it up a level.

“Now, everyone take out your imaginary…paintbrush!”  Again, they reach deep for both their imaginations and and their paintbrushes.  We spend the next few minutes painting our imaginary canvases with answers to figurative language questions – forcing both an understanding of types of figurative language and correct spellings of relevant vocabulary.

Then we take it up a level.

Credit: HiResSquad @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/hiressquad/

“And now…[At this point, I'm definitely atop a bookshelf and crouched down for effect]…reach deeeeeep in your pocket…and pull out…[they're about as fixated on my next words as you hopefully are!]…YOUR IMAGINARY….SPRAY PAINT!”

Cheers erupt and figurative language vandalism ensues.  I usually end up getting chased around the classroom by Landon as he attacks me silly string-style with his imaginary spray paint cans.  When it gets too loud or it’s time to wrap it up, I just drop to the ground while clutching my face.  As they get quiet and gather around, I sob, “Alright, that got out of hand.  I got paint in my eye!”

“Aw, Mr. Malany!” they yell and return to their seats.

2 Responses to “Vandalism in the Classroom”

  1. Cristina says:

    Totally loved the vandalism! :)

  2. relevance = engagement = learning

    This is just another case of unique ways a teacher can make learning relevant in a way the students can identify with. And there’s many more. But the teacher has to make the effort to make their classroom one the “kiddos” can see as part of their world … not just out of touch adults.

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